After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
