i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
