The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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