super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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