How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
