32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
