have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize