Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.

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(907): View more from Alaska

the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas

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(949): View more from California

Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?

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(269): View more from Michigan

A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

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(214): View more from Texas

Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding

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(309): View more from Illinois

i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.

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