dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm like, not good at living.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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