That's intense
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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