He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
