Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
