I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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