omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
