I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm passing your future prison.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
