its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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