Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
