and she was petting her beer can
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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