I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
