If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
