i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
