who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
