there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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