Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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