Welp...herpes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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