I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
