Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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