Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
me + whiskey = a bad person
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
