Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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