Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
