Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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