I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
