I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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