But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
