i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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