I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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