I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
