Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
