I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
