If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
