Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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