3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
