somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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