um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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