i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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