I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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