For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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