I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she peed on how many people?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
