is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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