Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
