Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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