So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
