You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's rum buckets o'clock
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
