do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
