its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
