if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
